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26 March 2010 @ 12:36 am
Random post of... random  
Real Life is a Bitch, except when it isn't

I've been so tired lately... My job is definitely killing me... Me and all my co-workers actually... So today, after months, we finally went to have a drink after it. Happy-hour was really happy... we drink, we talked bad about people that deserved, talked really good about some heroes among us, we reunited with some friends that went away (for their own sanity, they decided to change work place)...

All in all, I'm a bit tipsy and actually lighter, because I realized I work with some shit people, but some amazing ones as well... and some of those are people we can really count on. I have some good friends at work, even though they are not all working at the same place as me... It was good... It gave me a little more strength to got to work tomorrow, at least.

Inspiration is a funny thing...

So, for a long time I've been using icontests to boost my inspiration. The themes, the provided pictures (sometimes), the deadline, they used to help me focus and get the icons done. I once never thought I could work those 100in1oo or 20in20 icons because I'm kind of lazy and lack discipline... but, as I found out, I kind of enjoyed them a lot.

But these days I've been feeling restrained by icontests... I don't know if it's the afterglow of the winnings that are fading or whatever... On the last week, I ended up doing around 10 icons for a icontest that only allows 3 entries... and after I spent a night looking for images. I ended up doing some icons that were totally unrelated with the theme of the challenge, but feeling kind of guilt... I was thinking something like "why I'm wasting time doing these pretty when I should be doing icons for that icontest and the rumble and that other graphic site... I have so little time on photoshop nowadays!" And that's so wrong! I don't want to restrain my muse on icontests anymore! On the contrary! I want to be inspired by them!

It's like I'm doing most icons for votes than for the joy of creating something pretty... Not all the time, of course... but sometimes the feeling is there and it makes me a little sad with myself...

So, I decided to take some time from icontests... No, I'm not abandoning them all because a lot of those still inspires me like hell! But I'll shift my photoshop focus on 100in100, 10variations, 10x10 variations and even my own challenges of this sort... Where there's no voting at all, and maybe not even a complete/participating banner, but where I can be more free with my muse...

Fangirls can only talk about one thing, right?

So, yeah, I'm obsessed with Supernatural now... And I love Dean + Sam in a non incest way! XD I passed my own test... =P

I've started watching the First Season, that I bought on DVD... man, some of those episodes are scary! Blood Mary so far made me take a week off from the season... I've watched it at a saturday night when I had the house to myself... NEVER AGAIN!

Good thing about Season 4 and 5 though is the lack of scary things and a lot of drama!plot (and some great comedy!)... I'm really obsessed with Castiel... and Dean/Cas (after episode 4x16 it was impossible to ignore them!) But what caught my attention and I wasn't expecting was Dean... Jensen Ackles is an amazing actor! He isn't just a pretty OMG!HOT face... he's funny and dramatic and, okay, gorgeous... =P I like Sam as well, but that whole "poor me, half demon, drinking blood, sad me, blah blah blah" is getting kind of boring... He's supposed to be the smart one! Not the whiny one! XD

But Castiel's still my number one! Gosh, I'm starting to develop wing fetishes because of his first appearance on the show... XD And Misha Collins is a great actor as well... Castiel's so freakish serious and down to business most of the time... but he has that curious glances, that intrigued look on season 4 that just makes him look so adorable! And the way he starts to show emotions... Gosh, I love him so much... XD

There's a huge lack of a strong feminine character that I can relate too, though... Anna was pleasant enough (at the beginning, at least). I hated Ruby and Lilith (mind, I've never watched Seasons 2 and 3, so I don't know much about their characters). I loved the little I saw from Ellen, the hunter-mom and Jo... but so far they are all a little superficial characters...

Not complaining that much... because with a show like this, with one of the main characters being a womanizer, it could be a lot more male chauvinist... =P

A note about inspirations and fandom

I really want to write fanfic again! That said, I wish I could, I wish I had the energy and the time for it... Let me go back to photoshop now...
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Tiptoe39: big deal castiptoe39 on March 26th, 2010 04:09 am (UTC)
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh WELCOME TO THE CASFRENZYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

***snuggles you forever***

we have so much to talk about !
haruechan: OMG!TVharuechan on March 26th, 2010 05:16 am (UTC)
I love you so much!!! Gonna bury myself in your fanfics this weekend... I was dying for some good Dean/Cas smut!

And icons... must make Cas icons! =P
Varda ☆: Meep!x_varda_x on March 26th, 2010 07:03 am (UTC)
I watched S1-3 of Supernatural, but then got called away by fic writing. I have S4 on DVD, but haven't watched it yet :o

I'm on an icon making hiatus. I feel the same way you do about them and about fic writing challenges/contests. Must.stop.entering. I want to be free to do what I want for a change! Please! :)
haruechan: OMG!TVharuechan on March 26th, 2010 01:25 pm (UTC)
Go watch it! Now! There's Cas! How can you resist not watching it!! XD (Cas obsessed much?)

I must admit I cheated a little watching the forth and specially the fifth season... I went straight to Cas episodes... =P

The problem is not about entering the icontests... it's only thinking about them when doing icon... it should be the other way around!
Diego: by my sidediek09 on March 26th, 2010 03:20 pm (UTC)
Keep on, buddy. That happens everywhere, I remember when I was working in a place where everybody was trying to make the other to feel bad and like a shit and started fights, lies, etc. Oh, it was so ugly working there but no more. Ignore those shitty people, the hell with them.

Uhm, haven't watched Supernatural but I'm sure I'll get addicted to it if I watch one chapter XD

About the icons and icontests: I think this is one of the reasons why I left the 20in20's challenges, I don't like to be pressured so that's why I like participating at comms like gate_icontest or lantis_icontest as the only rule is to use a picture of a chapter or related to a character, so not pressure. Of course, that's my opinion :)
haruechan: Rodney - Failharuechan on March 28th, 2010 04:52 pm (UTC)
I totally forgot to respond his... I blame my hell week at work, it must have killed me some brain cells...

Thank you for encouragement with work... But knowing that I do have friends there (and other places as well) really helps me get by...

About the icontests... for me, it's the other way around these days... I prefer to work with some themes and look for my own images... 20in20 and 100icons kind of challenges, stock_hush and the challenge 1 for sgmen_itest... those kind of challenges are inspiring me way more than any other icontest...